Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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