i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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