He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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