Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
