nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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