ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
