So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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