the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Randomize
