Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
