cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
