Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
