just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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