Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
