He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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