First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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