thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Randomize
