My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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