I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
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Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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