I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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