I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
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He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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