I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
