On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
