last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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