peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
honey bunches of taint.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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