I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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