Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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