I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Someone signed my nipple.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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