you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
