Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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