Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
