No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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