Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
