Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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