The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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