your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
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