okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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