I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize