i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
