I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
