So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
