And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
How did I end up in the pool?!
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Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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