im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
When did angry sex become our thing?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
