I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
