I molested 6 butterflies tonight
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
