Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
God I need to hump something, right now.
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