Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
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