Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Houston, we have a blender
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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