My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
