Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He better not be in your backpack
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo