Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD