Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
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This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
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You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind