When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.