You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
You're a waste of cheezeits
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
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