My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
