im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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