then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
