i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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