Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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