i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Im just a social blackout drinker.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
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