i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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