If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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