Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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