i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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