I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Randomize
