I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize