i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
